Being and Overwhelmed Mom
Do you ever feel so overwhelmed and can’t figure out why? Or after a successful day you go back and can’t remember any meaningful moments. Your kids are in bed asleep and it hits you that today was the youngest they will ever be.
I’m not sure if I’m in the middle of a mid-life “child” crisis, but something is definitely going on.
The Cycle of Good Intentions
You make promises to do better the next day… but don’t.
I may be the only one out there that goes through this, but I do go through it. No, my kids don’t want to spend every waking moment with me, nor do I with them. But when they are old and grown, I want to look back and remember the moments. And remember being present.
A Wake-Up Call
A friend posted about his wife dying yesterday and it really made me stop and think. She has six months to live… and they are living differently and wish they would have started earlier.
If we lived today like it was our last day on earth, we wouldn’t do 99% of the things we are doing today. We wouldn’t. We wouldn’t take that after-hours work call just to get ahead or make a client happy while we shew our kids to the other room. We wouldn’t worry so much about all the chaos that doesn’t matter.
The Mental Load Is Real
I can’t begin to describe the brainwaves it takes for me to run a business, stay in contact with friends, get my steps in, clean the house, remember the kids’ activities at school, be a wife, and eventually have a little me time where I may read a little or write a lot.
But I’ve noticed lately it seems like my brain isn’t always on the task ahead. It’s three hours in the future or weeks in the future worrying about things that haven’t happened yet—instead of focusing on the here and now.
Why I Started Writing
I started this blog all those years ago because I believed in myself and wanted to keep writing and have somewhere safe for it to live on the internet for years and years to come. But once again it was one of the ever-growing to-do list items that had to take a backseat to other things.
But what also took a backseat was my creative release and my ability to have therapy—because I was able to write and be able to do it anywhere.
Trying to Be Better
All this to say I am going to try to be better… a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, CPA, and a better me to me. I’m going to focus on moments rather than events. I’m going to be present—not 100% of the time—but I’m going to start trying to be better.
I’ve researched this, and some things that work for others don’t work for me. So by trial and error (and I will report back), I’m going to focus on some things that can help me feel less overwhelmed and more enjoyable to be around—so when my kids look back, they won’t ever see the way I see our world now.
They will remember a better mom. They won’t remember the times where I was frustrated and got upset with them over things that didn’t matter.
My Starting List for Change
- Stop comparing myself and my family to others. Shut down the apps, shut down the social media, and know that being present in little waves is the best that I can do for now.
- Set a 30-minute phone-free timer each night. No distractions—just me, my kids, and my husband. They get all of me.
- Prep the night before. So I don’t forget the little things that turn into big things (looking at you, 100th day of school).
- Plan my days better. Time blocking or something like it—so when it’s time to be with my kids, I am with my kids.
- Cut the noise. Declutter the house, purge a little each day. If I’m not surrounded by visual mess, I’m less likely to be mentally distracted when I should be spending time with my family.
The Bigger Goal
I have some lofty personal and professional goals for 2025—but ultimately, I want to be a happier person and less overwhelmed. I want to live so that if I did die tomorrow, I wouldn’t have any regrets. And the people around me who matter the most would know that—without second guessing it.
They deserve the better me.
I deserve it too.
The First Step Starts Now
I’ll be back, but for now I’m going to set that first 30-minute timer and focus on my kids and what they have to say—even if I have no clue what they mean.
