What does Relationship Goals mean to you?- TRIBE OF BURTON

6935 days ago, we said “I do.” I’m not sure where almost 7,000 days have gone. Do you? But here we are 19 years later. Happy Anniversary. This post is for you. And for anyone else that wants to read it. Because Relationship Goals is Goals.

A girl and guy on Christmas Day. They have spent 21 years together for Christmas — We were tired, but Christmas day with 4 kids is nothing but bliss. We are so very blessed.

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Romance doesn’t have to be sappy

I could be sappy, but I’m not that type of person. I’m just not. I don’t like PDA, I don’t like to be touched, and I’m not all about confessing my undying love. But here I am. I can tell you one thing. After 21 years together, I’m more in love now with the man I married than I was the day we got married. Keep reading – this is as sappy as I get.

Girls, if you are reading this and you aren’t married yet or if you’re in a rocky relationship AND you think there is a such thing as a perfect relationship...

YOU ARE WRONG.

No such thing exists. And if someone flaunts their relationship like it is – then they are lying to you and themselves.

Over the last 21 years (together not married) I’ve been told so many times:

If I had your relationship mine would work.
Mike is so good to you.
Y’all never fight.
Your kids are well behaved, so you don’t have that added stress.
You have money so you don’t fight about it.
I need someone like him.
You have the PERFECT marriage.

Y’all. Those are all a LIE. So, stop thinking they are the truth. I want to explain a little more. (and yes, Mike this is for you to read and understand me a little better so don’t stop reading yet).

Relationship goals broken down

My relationship shouldn’t be compared to yours. Unless you have been with your significant other the same amount of time as me, with the same number of children, same jobs, same health conditions. Basically, I’m saying we all are different and we have to use that to our advantage.
My husband is good to me. The lie or twisted truth is – he’s not just good he’s GREAT to me. But (I hope I’m not assuming) I’m great to him as well. A lot of the behind the scenes work that people don’t see is ME. Yep. We both work as equals in our relationship. So, if your guy is good to you but you aren’t good to them OR vice versa – you need to start being equals and start being great to each other. NOW.
We fight. We just both know how to hold our tongues and neither one of us like to show other people what’s going on with us when we are butting heads. But you know what – we aren’t physical with each other (if that is you – you need to get out of your relationship) and we don’t really scream at each other. We get mad – take time – then figure it out together. I KNOW they (as in books) say “don’t take your problems to the outside” BUT I will say this. Having a good girlfriend that KNOWS your significant other – may help. You don’t have to call them over every issue, but if they are a good girlfriend, they will let you know when you’re being a brat and you need to apologize first.
Can we talk about our kids? Briefly. Yep they are good kids MOST of the TIME. However just like any child – they go through bouts – of craziness – and Mike and I work together to get through those times.
But you have money. Yep we may some money. But we still have problems. And we aren’t billionaires. And we still have to work every day. Like anything else – you need to be up front and honest about money. It can kill a relationship quicker than I can say “I’m running by TJmaxx on the way home” HAHA
I need someone like him. Well go find you someone. Find someone that would walk across Heaven and Earth to get to you. Someone that will stay by your side when you get so sick you can barely walk. GO find that person. And if you can’t find that person… as my grandma has always said “you’re looking in the wrong place” Can I get an Amen?
Perfect marriage. HAHA – I giggle when I hear this. We have worked every day at our marriage. It’s work. It’s not perfect but it works for us. And it IS pretty darn close

A collage of pictures from Florida State University. — He moved 3 hours away with me so I could get my Master’s degree at Florida State University.

Don’t Give up on your relationship

My advice to you is if you have someone – don’t give up on them or yourself if things don’t go the way planned. Marriage and relationships are WORK. Yep. WORK. But in the end, they are so worth it.

And hey, you, that is reading this – and you are cheating on your significant other or on the apps and are secretly talking to someone else – STOP. That kills a relationship. You need to start looking at your own self.

Don’t hide things from each other. At any time, my husband can see my phone, email, social media, etc. He can get into all of it. Even on his phone he can get into my social media. You know why? Because we trust each other. We aren’t hiding anything. **However – Sometimes I have to use my friend’s amazon account to surprise him with gifts because he gets all those emails. lol

A guy and girl taking a selfie in Destin — Our vacation after our daughter was Stillborn.

conclusion

Love yourself first. Then your significant other. And talk to each other. About everything – become best friends with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

If you are having problems maybe seek out that friend you can trust (please keep it to the same sex) and see if they have any guidance. Sometimes it’s easier to see things from the outside in.

If you want to read my 17 year anniversary post to him then go over here.